Ceremony

One of the most special things that happened for me over the Christmas holidays was introducing the importance of Ceremony to my kids. I do not have a great ability to remember much of my past but I remember well when I first got my period and my mother wanted to throw a party. I was mortified and managed to convince her that a small dinner would be nice and I begged her not to tell anyone else. I am not sure if my mom tried and did introduce ceremony to me before this but I was definitely not ready yet. She tried again on my 21^st birthday and this time I was much more receptive and open and willing to experience. We gathered friends and family of all ages in an intimate setting and even though I do not remember the specifics of the ceremony, I know that this is when I got hooked; this is when the significance of marking transitions really sank it and took root. Since that day I have incorporated Ceremony into many aspects of my life – some private, some public. When I was pregnant with Kahlil, instead of a traditional Baby Shower my friends and family put together a Mother Blessing Ceremony, when both our kids were born we had a Welcoming Ceremony. So whether they wanted to or not my kids have been involved with Ceremony from their inception.

Winter Solstice 2009 arrived like a normal day. While we were making breakfast I talked to Kahlil and Kamala about the significance of this day – the longest night, the shortest day, the time when we honor the dark for its gifts and celebrate the sun and its return. Mom and I had talked about doing something to honor the day but no plans were laid. Then, as we were taking or evening walk (Mom, Dad, me and the kids) I asked Kahlil and Kamala if they were going to create a ceremony to honor the dark and invite in the sun what would they do. Kamala chimed in instantly that we should have food and drinks ( a true Trinidadian!!). Kahlil said we should have candles. Mom suggested reading a poem about the dark. And thus a Ceremony was created.

While I prepared dinner, mom looked for the right poem. Kamala was sitting at the table and found a black piece of paper and started to do one of her favorite things….cut the paper. Mom had done a project with the kids earlier that week of making paper chains to decorate and hand around the house for Christmas. Kamala wanted to make another chain for her to wear around her neck. Dad helped. The paper ended up only making enough to fit on her head – it was a crown, it was all black. I told her she had made the crown of darkness and suggested to get some white paper to make a crown of light. Kahlil jumped in and the crown was created.

After dinner, we lit a candle, lit a piece of charcoal onto which we put incense Carl had harvested from the forest, and we each got a sage leaf. One at a time, we lit our leaf, blew it out and thanked the darkness for something. Then we did it again to say something we loved about the light. It was simple. It was beautiful. It was perfect.

And every subsequent day Kamala asked if we could do another ceremony. So we did – on Christmas night and on New Years Eve. I am grateful for the connection they have formed with this sacred right. I give thanks.

As I write this and see the devastation in Haiti it reminds me that Ceremony is also about the power of prayer. Haiti is in my prayers!

All good things come to an end

It all started over seven years ago….seven years and two months to be precise. It was then that my son was born and my breast feeding journey began.

It has been a beautiful, growth-filled journey and there is so much mixed emotion as I write this entry because now the journey has come to a close. Or perhaps it has just opened the next door…..Kahlil breastfed for over 3½ years. He was the type of child that would have been happy to stay connected to the breast night and day and as my instincts led me to follow his cues, he nursed any time in any place.

I was very open and willing to tandem breastfeeding when my daughter Kamala was born. I had read the books and talked with mothers about having a toddler and infant breastfeeding and I was open to the experience. Kahlil nursed all through pregnancy and was still nursing when Kamala was born.

However, mind and body are not always in sync and when Kamala was born and Kahlil went to breastfeed every inch of my body said no and he was weaned over the next few months with surprising ease considering how connected he was to the breast before. Kamala was an avid breast feeder as well.

Kahlil would ask direct “I want BREAST” but Kamala came up with her own terms “Ilk mommy” as opposed to "Milk" which came with cereal or in a cup. She too nursed almost anywhere but we have surprisingly few pictures of that. Her weaning came with its many challenges. But when it came to the point where I was really done and really not interested in more and I started putting the appropriate boundaries in place, the last transition seemed easy and it is amazing to me that now my breasts are finished with their true purpose. The milk is starting to dry and the boobs are starting to get shrinkish and saggish. And I am eternally grateful!!!

This entire journey has been a blessing and has connected me to myself, my function, my role, my purpose. I was the first of any of my friends, peers and family (cousins) to enter into the realm of motherhood and since the time of conception with Kahlil I have felt a deep, guttural connection to this world of pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. This calling and our lifestyle has meant that I had the blessing of having a birth with a midwife, of breastfeeding each child for 3½ years and of being home with them full time. These things have not been easy at all times by any means! And it has been the perfect thing for me. I am so grateful for all the amazing people it has brought into my life and for all the doors it has opened for me. And now I am in wonder of what lies ahead knowing that this phase of MY life is over but my connection is still as strong as ever. I watch each pregnant woman with wonder and I am excited for the day where I get to be in more direct contact with these women and be part of their path as they walk through their journey. What a gift, what a blessing!!!

Ending the Holidays with a BANG!!

August 31st is our Independence Day and also the day before school starts back. Starting last year, our community hosts a Sports Day for the villagers as a way to have one last day of fun before the holidays finish and the school routines start. Carl and I are very involved in the community groups so we were organizing lots for the day and Kahlil and Kamala were very excited about all the races and prizes and fun things planned.


Kahlil's school also started having a Sport's Day last year in June to mark the end of the school terms. Now Brasso Seco is in a mountainous valley with very little flat area so we do not have any official play ground and area for the kids to run and play - they do that in the streets and rivers and such - so the Sport's Day races are held in the road. Kahlil did great and had fun last year (08) and was so excited for this year but in the first race of the day (in June) he fell and got a skid on his forehead, side and legs. So that was the end of his School Sports Day for him and the saving grace for that day was the huge river lobster we caught in the river that afternoon with some visiting friends of his - so he did get a prize and get to eat it too =)!!

After that experience, we were wondering how he would feel about running in yesterdays Community Sports Day, but he was excited and ready and eyeing the first prize. And he went out and ran like a champ and got that first prize as well as two seconds and was truly loving the day!! Kamala too was wanting to run every race no matter what the age or kind of race and she also came away with three prizes for the day!! Even Carl and I tried a few races and I came away with two prizes and Carl won a silver medal but pulled his right hamstring muscle in the process =(.

After the races there was a competition on what is called the "greasy pole". This is a small, straight, thin tree that has been cut down, all branches removed, all bark skinned, and supported about 8 inches off the ground. It is difficult enough to cross like this because it gets especially wobbly in the middle but to add to the excitement and challenge there is a layer of grease put on the pole to make it super slidy. (OK, in hind site this is a recipe for disaster!) Kahlil did not try this last year but was excited about trying this year and took many chances and although he never reached the end, he did well and was having fun. The competition finished when the first person reached the end of the pole. But of course, the pole is still there to play on and that is what Kahlil and many of the boys were doing when down came Kahlil - slipping off the pole, tumbling on the ground and letting out a piercing cry.

We are 45 minutes from the nearest Health Facility in Arima which real;y does not have the ability to do very much. We are another 45 minutes from the nearest hospital (Mt Hope) that can better attend to what we figured was a broken arm. So we hopped in the car with a crying, in pain, grease & grass & mud covered Kahlil and made our way to Mount Hope Medical Complex. Now Trinidad has a free medical system if you are willing to put your health into the hands of the public hospitals. If not, there are many a private clinics that will be happy to take your money. When we were dealing with surgically removing a cyst from Kamala's hip, we chose the private route because the public system did not see it as a priority and we would have had to wait for a year before they would have called her for surgery. We had a great experience. Gratefully, I had heard good and reassuring stories from friends about the Mt Hope Pediatric Accident & Emergency Department so we decided to try the public route first. And I definitely cannot complain! We arrived at 8PM and by 9PM we were going home and Kahlil had been seen by a doctor, had his arm x-rayed, had the x-ray reviewed by doctors and an orthopedic doctor and had a 'backlash' cast put on by the orthopedic doctor. Every person who attended to us was kind, patient, attentive to Kahlil, and totally responsive to all my questions - of which there were many since this is the fist broken bone of any member of our family.

The break is in the left humerus just above the elbow and is gratefully not a bad break in the sense it is not big and did not go all the way through. The main concern for breaks in this area is because of all the vascular activity happening there but each doctor was sure to check his wrist and inner elbow pulses and the mobility of his hand and fingers and everything seems fine. The cast is just hard at the bottom and sides and wrapped in a bandage around but it does go from his hand up the middle of his upper arm. They put it in a sling to help him hold it all in position. We go back next week to the paediatric orthopedic clinic to have it looked at again. Breaks usually take from 6-8 weeks to heal with kids usually healing on the faster side. He is right handed so he can go to school as normal - to which he responded an emphatic NO WAY!!

We were home by 11PM last night and spent all day today watching movies, reading stories, eating soup and crackers and just laying low. Kahlil did not complain with any pain today - just a general discomfort - so I did not give him any kind of medication. We took an evening walk under the light of an almost full moon and breathed in the healing energies of the trees and rivers. We are repeating a mantra throughout the day of "my arm is healed". I have told him the plan is to spend time each evening focusing healing energy on his arm so that he will be healed long before the 8 weeks and we have been talking lots about the fact that it doesn't matter where people are, once they send out that healing energy it will reach his arm instantly and he will have the powers of the universe focused on his healing - lucky thing!!

animal visitors

As I mentioned in the heading of this blog, we never know who (or what) we will meet. These days we have had a few animal visitors of note.

Last week there was a stray cat that adopted us and mewed in just the right places for the kids to say, "Oh, Mommy, he's hungry, he wants his mommy, we must help him..." So we put out some milk and the skiddish kitten was soon ready to come inside and get cuddled which is not what this Mommy was looking for....especially when we saw it was a female cat which would mean kittens which is really not what I am looking for!! I am grateful that the kitten seemed to have the same feelings and after a few days, ventured off for better grounds.














Then Carl got the rare chance encounter with a baby porcupine while hiking with some visitors in the pouring rain. We were sad we all couldn't see it but were grateful for the pictures Carl brought back for us (yeah to the Olympus waterproof camera - that is a blog tribute unto itself that I will do at some point!!).


















Today Kahlil found a small green frog (the size of his pinky) while we were at the Visitor Facility (where I work on weekends) that he proudly carried around to show all who were interested and some who were not interested at all! I did not have the camera to capture this amphibian visitor, but Kahlil proceeded to keep it on his hand and name it and talk to it until at some point I guess the frogged hopped away (I never really did get the end of that story as I was distracted with some work).


Tonight we found a snake on the road in front of the house. Once determining it was not harmful (we do have 4 poisonous species in Trinidad), Carl held it, Kahlil held it and Kamala touched it while Mommy photographed. We all love snakes and generally all animals.


























We have several pictures of Kamala sitting in an infant seat as a baby with Kahlil holding various animals up to her face for her to see - frogs, crayfish, beetles. This one here is a mountain crab. I am pretty sure it is mainly because Kamala sees us holding and touching animals that she wants to get involved as well since her first instincts seem to be more on the squeemish side.

















I love all the wildlife that comes into our lives and the lessons they bring. We try to find at least the name of each animal we see and to read about some of its habits. This is all part of connecting with all that is around us and knowing that we are all one, we are all connected, we are all important!

Rainy Days Lessons

The rains were torrential today. Heavy, cleansing rains that made rivers overflow their banks and change their course. This evening we did what we always do after heavy rain - take a walk by "our" river (as Kamala has deemed it) to see what changes have occurred. Yesterday there were two pools (perfectly kid-sized) - one which Kahlil and some friends have been working on every day to damn up and make a little bigger by building up rocks and digging out sand. The river then narrowed to flow downstream. Now there is a big deep pool and lots of sand and stones have filled up the other pool and widened the bank considerably. If the sun shines tomorrow we will see how fun the new pool can be and we will marvel at how clean and smooth the stones are now that the raging waters have stripped off any moss and we will look to see where the crayfish were hiding and how many still remain in the pool.

I love how close we live to nature and how much we can learn and grow from Her lessons. Cleansing is important - to wash out the old and make room for the new changes. And even after those cleansing down pours it is good to notic that the waters remain rough and dirty for some time, the waters keep churning before they can settle into their new patters. Good reminders.

Sheppard Waterfall

We live where rivers abound and because we are in a valley there are waterfalls galore. On Monday we took a walk to one we had never visited before. Our great friends the Sheppard Family (Nancy & boys Chas, Sam and Max) are moving to England tomorrow and Brasso Seco was the one place that everybody said they must go before they left. We were so glad because although we do not see them often, our times together are always adventure-filled!

Of course this is the height of the rainy season but the mornings have been beautiful so we set off after a big breakfast, took a 10 minute drive to reach the river and headed out in search of the waterfall. Walking in the rivers always requires dilligence and awareness - rocks are slippery, footing is precarious. But these boys make light work of such tasks and love the challenges of scrambling up the sides of a gorge or to the top of the waterfall. Meanwhile, Kamala is happy in the back pack - high up as she instructs mommy on how best to advance.

It was not a long walk to reach these twin 30 foot waterfalls that we named Sheppard Falls in memory of our best buddies.

After exploring, bathing, snacking, stone skipping and of course a wizard duel with new found wands, we were off to home again and back in time to make some lunch as the heavens openned and the rains poured down!

It was a perfect walk with fabulous friends who will be missed greatly! We are wishing you Sheppards all the best in your new adventures. We look forward to return visits and new explorations!!

Happy Birthday Kahlil!

Kahlil turned seven on Wednesday. He was woken by a call from his Grandparents (who are living in Italy) and then saw a note hanging by his bed. This note started a treasure hunt where he had to follow the clues to find each present. His first gift was a small magic set and book that I thought he would get into but the day revealed that he is too honest a boy to be a magician as he loved sharing the secret even more than doing the tricks =). I was still lazing in bed with a sleeping Kamala and he would come in to ask for a little help when necessary but when he found the second present of a (small) Lego Star Wars ship, I must have fallen asleep and he came back to show me the finished product that he had sat down and done himself. After finding his other gifts (a raincoat, new book and some money) using his clues, we all got up to make cake. It has become tradition that on anybody’s birthday, making a cake is what we do together as soon as we wake up.

The rest of the day was relaxed and dinner was made from Kahlil’s favorite food – smoked chicken – which we ate when Carl returned from a hike with a researcher who has been with us off and on over the past two years. That’s when we did the official singing of Happy Birthday and putting a candle in the cake (which had been picked at for most of the day). The day was simple and joyful and Kahlil went to sleep happy. And I marveled at how important all the little things are and how grateful I am that Kahlil can appreciate and enjoy those things as well.

















Now Kahlil’s one and only request for his birthday was a new bike – and not just any new bike but a mountain bike. The bike he has had since he was 4 and on which he learned to ride without training wheels has now lost it breaks and has a broken chain and tire. So I was sent in search of a kid’s mountain bike by my parents who wanted that to be their gift to him. I know NOTHING about bikes so I called in the help of some friends and the result was a great, newly refurbished mountain bike. Since its arrival on Thursday, I think Kahlil’s bottom has only left the seat to drink, eat and sleep and only when absolutely necessary! He has been riding in hot sun, pouring rain, wet grass and muddy puddles and the smile on his face is permanent!



















Here’s to a few great days, seven great years and many, many more to come!!